We've all thought it at one time or another. "I wish I could just turn off my feelings." The reality is, feelings are part of who we are, our soul is our mind, our will and our emotion. Without 'emotion' we would simply live mechanically in 'motion' without thought or care about anyone else.
Controlling our feelings is the greatest challenge. Outside sources influence our decisions and choices (our will), feelings (our emotions) and the way we think. I don't want to live like a controlled robot without feelings. Imagine going through life without empathy, sympathy, kindness, gentleness, love, sacrificial giving, self-control.
We say cruel things that hurt one another's feelings. I, myself, have deep emotional channels running to the core of my heart. I use to be so concerned about hurting someone's feelings that I would not be honest and truthful with them or myself. However, as I have lived 56 years I run into the people that don't hold back and don't worry one second whether they hurt my feelings or not. I think, wow -- how freeing is it to just speak the truth honestly without worry that someone's feelings might be hurt. Then I think about the scripture that talks about speaking the truth in love. What does that mean?
Love does have a part to play in this. Love is controlling your feelings isn't it. I don't want to hurt my fellow man so I hold back. I use diplomacy and tact in how I say things.
The tongue is like a rudder on a ship that directs its course. Speaking whatever comes to mind is not wise. Weigh what you say, consider it before speaking it. The Bible is full of scriptures about guarding your mouth, refraining from speaking evil, speak only words to encourage and love others. And the Bible says if you can control your tongue you are perfect but it also says no man can control his tongue. This leads me to believe that only the Holy Spirit of God can empower you to control your tongue. He warns us and if we heed the warning, we will not say things. He teaches us by showing us how badly it hurt when someone spoke ill of us or to us in a demeaning manner.
The fear of confrontation keeps me from speaking -- I don't know how to speak up and say 'I don't like when you do such and such. or "When you say or do such and such, I feel...."
That is called being assertive. I need training how to be assertive. Assertive people get ahead. They tell people what they think, request the resources they need, ask for raises, and don't take no for an answer.
Meanwhile, I still have to deal with my feelings. I have to be in control of how I feel. As I said before 'your feelings are often influenced by outside sources'. So what or who do you listen to? Who do you hang with? What do you watch? What do you read?
